Last Kiss SongFic
by 1000years1
Summary: "I can't figure out what you want me to be anymore. I'm so sorry. I can't figure out how to be something you'll miss. Something you'll be proud of." Rated T. One-shot.


**Hey! This is my try at a one-shot...hope you enjoy! It is a songfic to Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. Warning: Very sad.  
-Teddy**

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Nina's Point of View

I do recall now, the smell of the rain, fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane, that July 9th, the beat of your heart, it jumps through your shirt I can still feel your arms~~~

Sometimes I feel your arms wrap around me like they used to. Mara says it's an illusion, but I don't care. It's all I have left of you.  
I also remember the day it happened. I had come to school a month early, so I could stay with you. But the time we'd have together was far shorter than what I'd planned.  
July 9th. Thats the day it happened. That tragic, horrible day. You didn't see the car... Why didn't you see the car...  
When the driver of the other car rammed into us, I was able to unbuckle my seatbelt and roll out. You, however, were trapped.  
Which I didn't realize until I was on the cold, wet pavement in the pouring rain. Oh, I screamed. I begged for you to stay. But you didn't listen. I still remember the smell of the rain and the blood on the cold pavement. I held you close and whispered that I loved you. You said, in a strangled voice, 'You are the light, the thing I love most. It's not you're fault, love. You didn't know. Stay with me. I love you'. I kissed your forehead, so many times. My tears blended so well with the storm. And, by the time the ambulence got there, you were gone. Dead.

~ So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes, all that I know is I don't know, how to be something you'll miss~~~|

For some reason, I've felt a hatred for the ambulence lately. I feel like they took you away from me. Even though their intention was to bring you back.  
Now days I've been trying to keep as many little pieces of you as possible. Like your clothes. I slipped your shirt over mine and slid down the back of my door, so Amber wouldn't come in. My sobs, my tears, my heartbreak was enough to break me into a million pieces. Your songbook remains under my pillow, you know. I haven't read it, but I hold it close to my chest when I miss you most. Which is always. Your shirts still smell the same, by the way. Which is good. Sometimes, it makes me feel like you're still there. I have no idea what to be anymore. I try to do what I used to, but my old schedule revolves around one thing: you. I can't figure out what you want me to be anymore. I'm so sorry. I can't figure out to be something you'll miss. Something you'll be proud of.

~ I never thought we'd have a last kiss, I never imagined we'd end like this, your name forever the name on my lips~~~

I always see Amber and Alfie kiss, or Mara and Jerome or Patricia and Eddie. Thats when it hurts most. I miss you, so so so much. I love you just as much. Maybe more. I never thought we'd end. Especially not like this. Its cruel how your life was taken away at such a young age. You weren't ready to go. Every day, I wish it was me instead of you. You had a future, and kindness. Everything I don't.  
I'm going to make a promise to you. I promise you I'll never love anyone like I love you. If I ever kiss someone again, it'll be you I see. And, one more thing...  
I promise I'll never forget you. You're going to be in my heart and mind for as long as I live. I love you, and never forget that. When I'm older, I'll change my last name to Rutter. Because that's what it would've been if you were still alive. Every tear I will shed for the rest of my life will be on your behalf. And always remember, we're still meant to be together. And, in a way, we are. In my heart, and in my memory. You live in my heart, you know, Not my memory. There's not enough love there.  
I never thought we'd have a last kiss. But we did. I never thought I'd fall in love. But I did. And I never thought anyone could love me like you did. But you did.  
Last thing I want you to remember: I love you, Fabian Rutter.

**Like? Love? Hate? Please review!**


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